Take a break, have some "religious" wit and humor

The lighter side of the Ten Commandments
Researched by Dr Abe V Rotor
Living with Nature - School on Blog

Rewrite the Ten Commandments 
     The editor of the local paper queried the new applicant for the job of rewrite man."Well," said the editor,"are you good?"
    "Sure was the reply.
    "All right, then fix this,and cut it short," instructed the editor, handing him a list of the Ten Commandment.
    The applicant gave a glance and seemed a little nonplussed.  But then he stepped over to the desk, quickly marked the copy, and handed it to the surprised editor, who studied the paper for only a moment before saying. "You are hired!"
     The rewrite on the paper was,"Don't."



Breakable mail
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family friend Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
     "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
     "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

Identify Yourself
The young army recruit was a victim of so many practical jokes that he doubted all men and their motives.  One night while he was on guard duty, the figure of one of the officers loomed up in the darkness.
     "Who goes there?" the recruit challenged.
     :"Major Moses," was the reply
     The young recruit scented the joke.  "Glad to meet you, Moses," he said cheerfully,  "Advance and give me the Ten Commandments."

 Statement of Costs
The painter was required to render an itemized bill for his repairs on various pictures in the church.  The statement was as follows:

1. Corrected and renewed the Ten Commandments $50 

2. Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a new ribbon on his bonnet 60
3. Put a new tail on the rooster of St.Peter and mended his bill 45
4. Put a new nose on St John the Baptist and straightened his eyes 25
5. Replumed and gilded thee left wing of the Guardian Angel 65

6. Washed the servant of the High Priest &; put carmine on his cheeks 25
7. Renewed heaven, adjusted ten stars, gilded the sun, cleaned the moon 85
8. Reanimated the flames of Purgatory and restored some souls 45
9. Revived the flames of Hell, put a new tail on the Devil and mended his left hoof,and did several odd jobs for the damned 65
10. Put new spatter-dashes on the son of Tobias and dressing on his sack 30

11. Rebordered the robe of Herod and readjusted his wig 45
12. Cleaned the ears of Balaam's ass, and shod him 35
13. 2Put earrings in the ears of Sarah 70
14. Put a new stone in David's sling, enlarged Goliath's hand and extended his legs 30
15. Decorated Noah's Ark 20
16. Mended the shirt of the Prodigal Son, and cleaned his pigs 15

 Total $710

Acknowledgement: Jokes, Quotes and One-liners for Public Speakers bu HV Prochnow and HV Prochnow Jr